Agent of Desire Transforming perceptions of female sexuality

Female Role Models? Patriarchy would have it that male status is defined by economic power and the number of 'desirable' women he can attract. Where women fit into this 'desireability scale' is usually evaluated in terms of youth, the current definition of beauty and the effort she expends on maintaining her appearance. There are a number of men who put women into 'leagues' of attractiveness according to this scale and judge a man's status by the 'desirability' of the women with whom he associates, just like any other status symbol, such as a wristwatch or car. The likelihood of such men meeting their soulmate when programmed by this indoctrination is pretty low. These same men falsely believe that these leagues are the way that women perceive their own status within a female hierarchy. In actual fact, when women gather into groups, absent of men, status is defined by intelligence, charisma, wit, originality, courage, decisiveness, etc - basically leadership skills. The hierarchy of women in terms of desireability is an entirely a patriarchal construct, super-imposed over women and completely irrelevant to them outside of trying to get ahead in a sexist world. Because these patriarchal models of status for both men and women are the norm, most people try their best to operate within them, enticed by the promise of popularity, wealth and power if they climb them to the top. It turns women in on themselves, self-mutilating with anorexia, plastic surgery, painful shoes that deform their feet, etc. It turns women against each other with bitchiness, superficial judgement and cock-teasing other women's partners for kicks. It hurts men too, as they often long to walk down the street with the leggy model on their arm, turning heads and making others green with envy. In so doing they neglect to invest in their relationship with a partner who suits them, and end up bewildered when she gets fed up and leaves. So this patriarchal model is bad for women, bad for men, bad for relationships and bad for love. The kinds of women who are held up to be role models in our media, tend to be the women who enter this patriarchal race for the top whole-heartedly. There is so much affection for the diva, who is held up as an idealised woman, yet she is nothing more than a camp caricature of back-stabbing, bitching, manipulation, cock-teasing, plastic surgery, bulimia and so on. It is a kind of fondness for their pragmatism about what needs to be done to get ahead in the world. Jordan is a prime example of this. However these women are very negative role models for women as a whole because they do not challenge the status quo, but reinforce it. They give out the message: get implants, behave like you have a histrionic personality disorder, exaggerate your sexuality and objectify yourself to be noticed by men; instead of the much needed message: stand by your sisters, be brave, educated, work hard and dance to your own rhythm. These negative role models encourage women to use their sexuality as a tool to gain social status, which can only harm genuine sexuality behind closed doors. It gives men a false impression of what to expect of women sexually, and a confusion when they find that behind all the sexual bravado and posturing, there is a woman who needs to be treated with sensitivity and patience; an actual human being rather than the fantasy she has been peddling. For the women who are influenced to behave like these role models, it makes it very difficult for them to back-peddle enough to define and establish the personal sexual boundaries necessary in order for her to relax and whole-heartedly enjoy sex.  To comment on this article please click here .

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